Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
