help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
