just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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