You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
