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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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