I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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