I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
