cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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