Swine flu. Run for my life!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
