PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
