it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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