Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
