Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
