I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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