Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
