hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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