So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
