don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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