After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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