hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
