I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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