We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do herpes really smell.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
