Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
