I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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