He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize