But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
