You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Two words: nipple clamps
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