I puked a lego.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just google imaged poop.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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