Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize