4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
