it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
