so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize