Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
