I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
