So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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