The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
