i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
