Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
