i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
