We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
