GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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