you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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