i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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