but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
