I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
