Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
