You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You ruined the universe
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
