at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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