she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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