wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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