She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
