Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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