there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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