So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
