Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
