Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
