Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
