How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
