for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
