It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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