my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
