I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
