I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
