i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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