Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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