yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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