smell my finger.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
