if i can run in heels then i can drive
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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