Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
