My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
